On transfers - a quick guide to breaking your own heart

Let's get something out of the way: yes, I'm the girl who switched leagues twice within 3 months.

I am the girl who thought long and hard before being ready to let go and move on. I am the girl who learnt that to be able to grow and get better, she has to actively pursue different possibilities and that it is okay. I am the girl who feels good about the choices she has made.

There is no drama to any of this, just love of roller derby and learning. I think it’s in human nature to find someone to blame, but in this break-up, it really isn’t you, it’s me.

When you've been in a league from the get go, like I had, the decision to move on isn't one that you make lightly. I battled with myself for weeks, but eventually I had to do what was right for me. Yes, you can tell me that roller derby is a team sport and I should've thought of my league. Trust me, I did. I thought about it so much that the bus drivers in my town must have nick-named me “the girl who cries all the time”. I thought about it from as many different angles as I could, but once the idea of transferring gets in your head, you are on the path already, and it becomes just a matter of time. You wouldn’t be thinking about it, if you didn’t think you could be happier somewhere else. I could see myself letting go of my team little by little, and it wasn't fair for them either. I didn’t want to become the person who stays out of obligation, and becomes bitter. So I had to make the decision, think of how and where I could grow and learn, and go from there. 

 

And just imagine breaking up with 20 people at the same time. What you have ahead of you is seeing your past move on without you, and it will break your heart all over again, no matter how well you think you've prepared for it. Seeing all those people, who used to be your people, move on and keep going. Nothing ends for them, like it does for you. They keep doing what they did, just without you. They still go to practice like before, they plan for future bouts, they do things you’ll know nothing about. You make memories with other people now.

We spend so much time together in roller derby that you get invested in the people you do it with. We've had people quit or transfer before as well, and it should be a normal part of the sport. Roller derby is the first group sport activity to so many of us, and quite possibly a life changing one at that, and I get how it can seem almost like a personal insult when someone says they don't want to keep at it with you. However, to qualify as a good friend, a good teammate, a good coach, the only way to react is to be supportive. To trust that people have given the idea enough thought when they finally bring it up. To not guilt them or try to change their mind. Not everyone is bound to want the same things, be ready to work for the same goals, be prepared to put in the hours. There are so many ways to conduct a roller derby league, and it might take time to find your place, and that is okay as well. Transferring because of a new job, starting university, moving to another town - those are the most common reasons to transfer, I’d gather.

I stayed exactly where I was, and transferred to a league in another town, because I needed to challenge myself more. I did it for me. I was selfish. But this is my life, and I only get one shot. I don’t want to live my life with what if’s. I have finally found something I feel I am good at, and feel ambitious about, so the best possible way I know how to act is to find a place where I can grow and get even better.  First I transferred to a league that I still admire, but I didn’t end up finding my place there either. Sometimes you don’t know where you are going, and when you’re eventually there, you might find out that the timing isn’t right. And in a sport that is developing as fast as roller derby is, there isn’t really time to wait around, is there? So I had to re-evaluate my goals, and I realized that I wasn’t where I had planned to be.

Now I am in a place where I am challenged. I don’t take anything for granted. I have to work for my place in the team just like everyone else. Nothing is given to me on a silver platter, I couldn’t just waltz in and do my thing. That’s not how it works, nor should it. I go to practice, I watch footage, I talk with people. I plan, I plot, I do things that make me better as a coach. Better for my team, better for myself. I make mistakes, and learn from them. I make good calls too, and realize how much I’ve learnt. And all that and everything in between is exactly what I want to be doing.

My path hasn’t been the straightest because of the choices I’ve made, but now that I feel like I’ve found my place, I truly appreciate it. Things happen for a reason, but it might take a while to see what that reason is. And everything will be alright in the end. So don’t make this something it’s not. The track is big enough for all of us.

// Anna Miettinen

Preparing to win

Bout preparation for me is all about sticking to the same routines. These routines help me build up my confidence so that I can play the best possible game. However, the level of routines can some times reach a level nearing superstition. This is certainly true for my team, Kallio Rolling Rainbow. We always have the same cheer for every bout. The one time we tried another cheer, we played the worst game ever. I certainly spent more time on my face than on my skates that day.

Eat and rest

Eating right before the game is certainly important. However, the week leading up to big bouts is not the time to make drastic changes in your normal diet. I try to cut out all the crap like sweets and pizza but otherwise I eat pretty much the same as I always do. I also aim to eat a little more carbs then usual, especially on the night before the bout.

By far the biggest challenge is what and when to eat on the actual bout day. Having once eaten way too late in the day and suffered the consequences of vomiting in my mouth multiple times during the bout, I don’t want to repeat that mistake. This year at EROC, we had a very useful session from the coaches at Dynamic Sports Academy. Their recommendation was to eat a bigger meal about 3 hours before the bout and I have found this to work well for me. The optimal meal, at least according to them, is a pasta salad with some sort of protein whether that may be tofu or turkey. And interestingly white carbs work best just before the sports performance, otherwise of course whole wheat is generally better. They also recommended eating a granola bar and drinking one litre of water mixed with a little bit of salt and sugar approximately 1 hour before. I am usually pretty nervous by that point so I don’t really feel hungry. But forcing myself to eat a little something shortly before the game has helped me to maintain my energy all the way throughout the bout. Additionally, carbs have the benefit of calming down your stomach when you are nervous.

Rest is another big factor affecting performance on bout days. I try to rest at least two or better yet three days before the bout. However, just sitting on the sofa isn’t a very good idea as that can just lead to muscles becoming stiff. So I aim to do very slow impact exercises for example swimming or pleasant walks with team mates work well for me.

Getting into the feeling

Mental preparation plays a big part for me. It takes many forms. During the bout day, I have a very specific play list. I alternate between angry rap and Katy Perry. Somehow that is the key to me being in the perfect mood and feeling strong. For some other people, I know bout outfits can have a similar role. If your ass looks good, then it does great things on the track.

Just before the bout, as part of the warm ups, my team also does a few mental exercises. We each say something that we should keep in mind during the bout. For example, we’ll always do everything 100% and we’ll always trust our teammates to also do their part. Secondly, each player imagines their ideal jam: that one jam where everything goes right. That’s usually the last thing we do before we go on track feeling ready to win.

// Schlagerlöf

"You talk a lot of shit for someone who never says anything."

"My skating career lasted 10 minutes, so you'll find me sharing my opinions about bench coaching, NSO'ing, and everything else one can do quadless. Knee pads are optional, but advisable."

That is the introduction I wrote for myself a couple of months ago. Since then, I've fallen twice, both times on my left knee, leaving it gushing blood, and now I am seriously considering wearing knee pads at all times.

Since then, I've also done something new I can do in roller derby without putting skates on, besides bench coaching and NSO'ing. You know those people whose job it is to talk through the game? The announcers, yeah? Since we last spoke, I've taken on that role too.

It just so happens that a friend of mine has done quite a bit of announcing, and she had a dream in which I was announcing with her, and well, how can you say no to making someones actual dreams come true? And so when she asked me, I panicked for a couple of hours, as one does when confronted with something outside of their comfort zone, and asked half the people I know for assistance in my decision making. When they all said "yes, do it", I trusted that I have surrounded myself with people who'd rather see me try new things than set me up for an obvious failure to gain a few laughs. So I said yes, let's do this.

I'd never really thought about announcing much. I have to admit that rarely do I even listen to the announcers, I am often so focused on the game itself, so I didn't have much to work with. My mom gave me solid advice though - "don't start talking too fast, no-one will be able to understand you." In all honesty, that advice stuck with me and I tried to make myself talk slower and actually pronounce the words I was saying. I'm not sure if I managed - I tend to start talking faster when I get excited or nervous. Needless to say, roller derby makes me excited, speaking in front of big crowds makes me nervous. Building blocks for a great success, eh. 

I won't go around calling myself an announcer, by no means do I want to compare myself with those who actually know what they are doing, but announcing wasn't as frightening as I thought it'd be. Sure, I started repeating myself and caught myself using the same phrases over and over again. I struggled with trying to use terms that any non-derby enthusiasts would understand as well. I stumbled on my words, a lot. I stated the obvious - "one is always more than zero." Are you sure about that, Anna? But at the end of the day, it's just talking. Talking to a crowd of people, but still. And I can talk.

It's difficult trying to find the line between what you can say and what you definitely shouldn't mention. It is easy to stay unbiased, because honestly, when any player or official does well on that track, it's worth a mention, no matter the team. Trying not to comment on penalties, points and strategies before they've been executed is excruciating. Seeing jammer being hit out right in front of you, seeing the blocker who hit her out fall, seeing the jammer skate back to enter the track behind the pack that is bridging backwards, knowing she could come straight back on the track, and not being allowed to say anything?  Thank goodness for the mute button.

I was given a video link to the bouts a couple of weeks ago, but I will never be able to watch the games with audio on. I sure as hell don't want to hear what I said. I am just going to keep on being proud of making it through the experience in one piece. I didn't choke. I kept on going, I made silly little jokes. I actually enjoyed myself by the end of it all.  I stepped out of my comfort zone, and now I have one more experience to tell tales about. Isn't that what this is all about in the end, challenging yourself? I think I am doing a pretty good job with that.

My partner in crime, Ani, and yours truly. Picture by Carlos at derby.pictures.fi.

// Anna Miettinen

Greetings from EROC

The European Roller Derby Organizational Conference (EROC) was hosted by Bear City Roller Derby for the 5^th time in February 2014. This time around, EROC was bigger then ever with approximately 200 league representatives participating.  

Whilst taking part is plenty of fun it’s also exhausting as EROC lasts two or four days depending on whether you participate in the workshops. The weekend is packed full of informative sessions followed by official afterparties as well as unofficial get-togethers at the Tiki Bar which is practically an institution for the seasoned EROC-goers. It is also a big responsibility to represent your league and to bring home useful information as each league gets to send only four representatives.

EROC offers tips and updates for older and newer leagues and both skaters and officials can benefit. This year, the sessions contained everything from tournament organization to mental coaching and visual training.  At least I filled a whole notebook with thoughts and ideas, including the very useful note for myself: get some muscles to become a better derby player.

Finnish representation

This year’s EROC had a great turnout from Finland; Helsinki Roller Derby, Kallio Rolling Rainbow, Tampere Roller Derby, Lahti Roller Derby, Dirty River Roller Grrrls, Shitty City Roller Derby and P-Town Brawlers were all there. The Finnish representation was pretty great especially considering that in 2013 only the two leagues from Helsinki went to Berlin. 

National roller derby organizations were also invited to participate in the extravaganza and Roller Derby Finland was there to share the Finnish success story. Finland is in some way unique in Europe as we are the only country that organizes the national championships as a cup that runs throughout the year. This means more opportunities for Finnish leagues to play but in addition everyone taking part can also try their hand at organizing bouts. The Finnish Cup is going to be particularly exciting this year with the addition of four new leagues in the 1^st Division.

Hopefully, next year, we’ll get to see even more Finnish leagues taking part because EROC is a great opportunity to forge relationships with other leagues, whether it may be through agreeing your next bout or just by having a beer with a skater that you didn’t know before.

We’re all Europeans

EROC kicked off with discussion sessions which were held separately for veteran, intermediate and rookie leagues. Kallio took part in the intermediate leagues session and at least there it quickly became clear that most European leagues suffer from similar problems as us: there’s never enough training space for on-skates practice and never enough funds to do all the great things we would like to do. Volunteers seem to be another problem as we all just want to skate but unfortunately running a competitive league requires a lot of work.  It’s somehow really comforting to know that we are not alone with these problems and to see how other leagues have tried to solve these issues.  

At the same time, we learned many positive things too. European leagues co-operate a lot with each other even across country borders. And having so many different ways of doing things enriches the European roller derby culture.

WFTDA and Europe

WFTDA relationship with Europe seems to be this year’s hot topic along with junior derby and thus a lot of time was dedicated to discussing WFTDA with both member and non-member leagues. Many Europeans still see WFTDA as an organization representing mostly the North American leagues and at present there’s perhaps has some truth in that: only 10% of the WFTDA leagues are based in Europe. However, our influence in WFTDA has been increasing and will likely continue increasing as more and more European leagues are thinking about becoming members. At least in Finland, HRD is already a member, KRR is currently going through the AP process and there have been rumours that some other Finnish leagues are also considering starting the application process.

Another concern in Europe is the WFTDA rankings system. The feeling is that new members and AP leagues are having some difficulty in finding opponents for their mock sanctioned bouts and also the first sanctioned, but un-ranked, bouts. We are all pleased to hear to WFTDA has heard our cries and it currently considering various options on how to improve the situation.

Until next time

After a month I have finally recovered from the long weekend in Berlin and have had time to introduce all the new ideas to my league. Now I’m already looking forward to next year and next EROC. Can’t wait to see what great things are in store for us then.

// Schlagerlöf