12/04/2014

On transfers - a quick guide to breaking your own heart


Let's get something out of the way: yes, I'm the girl who switched leagues twice within 3 months.

I am the girl who thought long and hard before being ready to let go and move on. I am the girl who learnt that to be able to grow and get better, she has to actively pursue different possibilities and that
it is okay. I am the girl who feels good about the choices she has made.

There is no drama to any of this, just love of roller derby and learning. I think it’s in human nature to fi
nd someone to blame, but in this break-up, it really isn’t you, it’s me.

When you've been in a league from the get go, like I had, the decision to move on isn't one that you make lightly. I battled with myself for weeks, but eventually I had to do what was right for me. Yes, you can tell me that roller derby is a team sport and I should've thought of my league. Trust me, I did. I thought about it so much that the bus drivers in my town must have nick-named me “the girl who cries all the time”. I thought about it from as many different angles as I could, but once the idea of transferring gets in your head, you are on the path already, and it becomes just a matter of time. You wouldn’t be thinking about it, if you didn’t think you could be happier somewhere else. I could see myself letting go of my team little by little, and it wasn't fair for them either. I didn’t want to become the person who stays out of obligation, and becomes bitter. So I had to make the decision, think of how and where I could grow and learn, and go from there.